The Other Eternity

Oh, hey there, I see you just arrived. You, like many others, have that confused look on your face (except for a few who were chopping at the bit to get here). Welcome to the eternity that you didn’t expect. What’s that, you say? Is it a little hot down here? Of course, it is silly; you’re in the Under World. Give it a thousand years or three, and you’ll fit right in.

What’s that? Why are you here? Has there been a mistake? Don’t make me laugh; you should know why you are here. We have been watching you, cheering you on while you were alive. Remember all those naughty deeds you did when you thought nobody was watching? Well, I hate to break it to you, but we were, heck, we even had a betting pool on you for a time until you were a sucker bet. We knew you would end up here eventually.

From your first evil deed until your last, we have been waiting for you, and yes, we have such a curriculum set up for you! Heck, I’ve not seen these demons get ready for one such as yourself for quite some time. You are a bit of a hero down here, and so many can’t wait to get their hooks into you (really).

So let us start with the basics; there are some rules down here that you need to be aware of. Please don’t be shy; come on, you were not like this when you were alive, so revel in it. You are right where you should be.

Dammed If You Do…

No matter what your religion preached, taking a life is considered one of the biggest sins you could commit. And from what we can tell, you did quite a bit of it in your lifetime. (Or maybe Brad in accounting just made another mistake). Per the many religious texts, the moment you spill the blood of another for anything your mind can imagine (and we can imagine quite a lot), regardless if in the mortal World you were justified by whatever you were told, you just bought yourself a first-class ticket into the Under World. So congrats!

When your mortal time is up, your soul is instantly judged. Both sides keep a running tally of your soul’s deeds in the mortal World. Call it a scale, where the weights on one side are your choices, actions, and deeds against the right choices. The way the scale tips is a guarantee of where you’re headed! There are some that there is no contest; the scale base ran out of room to list all of your actions, so it was, as you say, a no-brainer where you were headed.

And yet, you keep repeating that there is a mistake… that you are in the wrong place… that you (cough)… Hey there, don’t fret if there was a mistake, don’t worry, there are a few options out of this place, but that’s not up to me; I’m just in the receiving department. Don’t worry; every new member here has to see the boss, where the final determination can be made.

But let’s say that you are in the right place… and that there was no mistake. It seems pretty cut and dry considering what we found in your life. So now what? What can you do about it? Not much from where you’re standing, but if you want our help, we’ll give you a few ideas.

First, accept that you are damned. Second, start atoning for your actions. And lastly, be prepared to make a deal… because nothing in life (or death) is free, remember?

Dammed If You Don’t…

Ok, so let us cover the other side of the coin here, shall we? As stated above, let us presume that you didn’t spill any blood… you were just a master of manipulation and had others do the dirty work for you.

Here you sat back, pulling the strings, while others did your bidding. I bet you didn’t know that for some, the excuse of just following orders doesn’t count, as they chose to do your bidding. Every one of you earned points on their soul’s universal tally, as you did as well part; you earned it twice! Once for putting your negative plan into motion and another for allowing somebody else to do your dirty work for you.

Sure there might be a situation where those who worked for you didna have a choice, as that was the cards that life dealt them (not so, but we’ll cover that further down). Some wanted to work their way up into your inner circle (presuming you had one), so the more they soaked their hands in the blood of others, to only prove to you that they were capable of whatever tasks you sent them on, you, yourself also were rewarding them but encouraging them. This is how the one pulling the strings always gets a double dose of points against them.

Ok, hang on, don’t get all in a huff; there’s another way this played out. Let us assume you were a king, and these loyal subjects were your knights. Their job was to protect the kingdom. I bet you didn’t always check in on them, did you? Of course, you didn’t. If they have earned your trust, why should you? Now when the reports came in that a knight in your court was doing bad things, what do you think happened to the one who reported it? See, you are starting to see the light. This is why you gained points against yourself.

You didn’t look into the matter firsthand; you allowed others to report back to you. What you didn’t know was politics at play, and you were told what they wanted you to know. That poor farmer, or whoever they were, ended up taking a dirt nap. This is why you never heard about the matter again. You see, even if you didn’t look into it firsthand, how often did you check the reliability of the people you thought were on your side?

A great king once dressed up as a pauper and wandered throughout his kingdom to see firsthand the atrocities being reported. Once he returned to the castle, many heads started to roll because of it. For every soul he released as a lesson to others… he kept earning credits against his bill. He did the dirty work to prove a point. What was the lesson here? He could have just expelled them from his kingdom and paid reparations from the treasury to those wronged as best as he could. But he didn’t, and at some point, I’m sure you’ll run into him down here.

You Don’t Say

Alright, now, you are claiming that you don’t fall into Dammed if you do or dammed if you don’t know the category. Ok, so let us investigate your story; here we go… Do you claim you are down here by mistake (this should be good)?

So, you led a good life, you gave to the poor what you could, ok, and you were always nice to people. You always shared your wealth and were a good person to all that met you. You fought against injustices and tried to do good in all things.

Those are all good reasons. However, your theory has a flaw, so let us dig deeper.

There is a part of your story that you fought against injustices. Remember that part above about spilling another’s blood and the first-class ticket? Therefore you are here. Now forget about getting your sentence changed; that rarely ever happens. Please don’t get all excited; I said it rarely ever happens. Only the big boss can make that decision. I’ve taken down everything you said, and it has been added to your case file; it is up to the big boss to make that call. I really would not get your hopes up.

The Boss Will See You Now

Welcome, fellow adventurer; we have all been waiting for you to arrive. As the receptionist has informed you of all that we have in store for you to experience for eternity, I was informed that you think you are here by mistake. I have reviewed your case, and with joy (cough), I am happy to report that you are exactly where you need to be.

You see, those injustices that you fought against, though you did not want to engage in combat, you did. You didn’t seek out their families to offer lifelong assistance with whatever they needed. You took away from their family whatever income, food, or whatever (waving hands) they brought home.

You could have left them wounded, but in your actions (regardless of the situations and circumstances), you killed them. This is why you are here.

Yes, you are in the right place. Now comes the fun part, before we get to what we have in store for you, there’s a bit of accountability that is needed on your part. Everyone you have ever killed and from your list (points to the list) is in the report. You get to meet up with them. Yes, everyone you did end up killing, regardless of the reasons, is also down here. Now, if they all give you a pardon, our reports are wrong… I can make you an offer. If you recall, upon your first entry, you were told three rules:

First, accept that you are damned.

Second, start atoning for your actions.

And lastly, be prepared to make a deal.

The first rule is easy, your dammed; look around as if you were not, and the scenery would be completely different. Secondly, start atoning for your actions. This comes from the conversations that you’ll have, as we mentioned above. Depending how that conversation turns out will determine the next part. If you are given a pass, you and I can make a deal to get you out of Hell. Now, before you get all excited, we can’t grant you a ticket to the (cough) another place, but we can get you back into the land of the living, where you get to reflect on where you once were and how you can get a do-over (as it were).

Now to be clear, before you have your conversations with your witnesses, we like to remind you of the statement on the archway as you entered Abandondon Hope all ye who enter here…

Let’s Make A Deal

Well, now, that was interesting. I’ve never seen such empathy displayed like that before. It would have been better to do that when you were alive. Some of them truly lead you to their conclusion, but we saw a few times when you could have left them alive. Sure they swore to avenge the dishonor you paid them and whatever words they were yelling at you. The funny part was this; you could have walked away and taken your chances. Instead, you decided to finish what they started.

In these cases, we, too, have an understanding of your plight. Do you belong down here? Yes!… Have you earned your place in eternal torment? Well… this is where it now gets interesting.

As I told you before, be ready to make a deal, and I have a few deals right here, three to be exact, that you could choose from; after all, I do keep my word, ask anyone!

Deal No. 1

Agree to be a witness at the judgment upon a soul. This gets you out of this place, but you will spend what would feel like an eternity in limbo, watching how the scales work. We’ll check back on you every thousand years (give or take), and we can see if you are ready to join the land of the living.

Deal No. 2

Join our Choir. Please don’t laugh; of course, we have a Choir. Ever gotten a paper cut? Remember the sound you made when you had it? Or that time you stepped on a rake, and the handle smacked the center of your face (yes, we all saw that)? Remember that sound you made? Our UnderWorld Choir is made up of the best sounds of suffering. The good news is that you’ll only be required to be in the Choir for, let us say (roll D20 for every thousand years listed per digit), then you’ll be given a new body above in the land of the living. You’ll keep your memories but take over another body to live out your days, reflecting upon our kindness, and see if you don’t end up here again.

Deal No. 3

Agree to become a Fetcher for us. You see, we occasionally have those that escape. Yes, there are ways out of here if you are that desperate and are in a position to exploit some of the weaknesses of the ancient systems. If you choose to work for us and become a Fetcher, you can earn your way out of here. This task isn’t easy and might take a few thousand years or more to complete. But if you agree, we can send you back to the land of the living in a fresh body that you’ll take over.

All three deals will allow you to take over a body that just departed; it will be fresh, it will seem like a miracle to some (or not to others), and you’ll get to live out the rest of that body’s life. Mind you, we rarely give a deal like this, but in your case, it’s unique, and that’s the deal. The good news is you’ll be out of here… and one could hope that you’ll not return.

Now, before you choose Deal No. 3, know this. Though you are undead, you will have the appearance of the living. You’ll not need to eat or drink, and only very few will detect that you are undead. There will be those who will sense an aura of foreboding around you, but unless they are of the magic World, they will not tell unless you tell them.

You will lose a name with every escapee you send back to us. You’ll know it as the escapee’s name will burn away but leave you with a nasty scar as a reminder. You will also feel slightly better for every name removed from you, our gift to you for a job well done. We will cover your body with the names of those who escaped… We will provide you with the tools and training required and then send you the above. You can enjoy the warmth of the sunlight and the smell of the (cough). Wait, who am I kidding? You’ll be in the ranks of the undead… Will the Sun hurt you? No, will you feel the warmth, also, no? Hey, it’s a job, and you won’t be down here, so it’s a win-win.

Your Choice

This hall pass to the land of the living isn’t a vacation, so always remember that you’re the Guild Fetcher. ‘When you are near an escapee, you’ll feel their presence (and they will sense a Fetcher is near). Call it an interesting twist. Before I forget, there is another catch (there’s always a catch, ask Brad in Accounting)…

This will not be a picnic for you (or them). We will outfit you with the tools you need to be a proficient Fetcher. You will have abilities that will amaze you while you are up there (but won’t work for you while you are down here).

We all have a role to play, and of the three deals, Deal No. 3 always seems to be the most popular. Even in a deal such as this, there are rules. Also, if you encounter an Arbiter up there, they will know what you are and will give you the leeway as long as you don’t get in their way. This deal has been offered before, since before time, and the Arbiters know this. One way to look at it, the Arbiters, in a way, are the Star Chamber’s Fetchers too…

So remember, we’re all in this together. You can free yourself from this clerical error and earn yourself a pardon. We can’t guarantee whose body you’ll occupy, and we strongly suggest that your old life remains dead. Remember, you will know what you know, but be in a different body. Anyone that knew you wouldn’t know you in the land of the living. Should you run across anyone from your old path, be vague, as you’ll know all you need to know, as somebody that once knew you… just don’t try to become your old self; trust me when I tell you, it won’t bode well for you.

So go forth, Fetcher, and gather up what you can learn fast, as we are only going to show you once how to be a Fetcher and teach you how your tools will work.

Next Stop… The Shadow Realms